3 Going on 30

"Keep the earth below my feet

For all my sweat my blood runs weak

Let me learn from where I have been

Keep my eyes to serve to serve, my hands to learn."

Mumford & Sons

I often wonder what would be happening on this day if we weren't caught up in the remembering.  Would it still be "business as usual"?  Would the incredible blessings that have flowed from excruciating pain have inundated us?  Or would reality be something so incomprehensible, it wouldn't be distinguishable from hades?  Or perhaps happiness unbound?  I guess we will never know.  I guess the great "what ifs" or "coulda's" will never be answered.  Filed permanently under unknown.  Sure, life changes.  It is the only constant, correct?  And while getting used to something isn't the same as accepting something, it is a close second.  How do you celebrate a day like today?  What gift or card is there to give?  There aren't any.  I truly believe the best way to remember someone is take the purest of their essence into your own.  To learn from them the very thing that made them so precious.  

I was talking to someone yesterday, browsing their facebook page.  One of their friends has a child with a major physical deformity.  And I always wonder why God would allow that to happen.  I do, I'm human just as much as you are.  Put down your stone for a second.  While I'm definitely no Bible scholar, I can only surmise a guess.  I get too caught up in the day to day "mission creep" of unappcreciation, that it takes something shocking to pull me back on course.  It is only in seeing the truly shocking that we awaken.  Among many things I have learned the past 3 years, is how quickly it changes.  And the things we take for granted, even the things that we think annoy us, are the things we will miss the most.  So back to this emotional ground zero we come every July.  To remember.  To grasp again at the "why".  To learn.  To appreciate. To miss.

But there will come a time, you'll see

With no more tears

and Love will not break your heart

but dismiss your fears

Get over your hill, and see

what you find there

with Grace in your heart

and flowers in your hair..

Mumford & Son

- After the Storm -