Things I ought not to

I'm listening to the wrong songs. Or maybe they are the correct ones. Been an interesting few weeks to say the least. It dawned on me that the only adventure I have left is marriage. Not sure about that one. I mean, seriously... marriage? The Great Maybe isn't what I had hoped for. We all end up running from what we really need the most, correct?

I dunno... intimacy, exposure, risk. All are not words that I entertain lightly. Good thing I am not in a hurry to settle down. That's a samsonsite load of baggage there... ( Slappy, Samsonite... Ohhh.. I was way off!)

"I'm gonna steer clear

Burn up in your atmosphere

I'm gonna steer clear Cause

I'd die if I saw you

I'd die if I didn't see you "

Writer's Diarrhea

It's the opposite of writer's block. It occurs when a writer has too many topics to write about and can't start any of them. Or maybe it could be Writers crack rock? I'm not sure. Either way, if I try to start one topic, I will end up 301 degrees off center. We wouldn't want that to happen would we? Well, okay, I don't want that to happen. If you do, then get your own darn blog. Jeesh. Their free. I might even read it.

eh. maybe not.

Footnotes of an "also ran"

it sucks to see no return on emotional investments. Not that one expects to gain anything, at least I don't. You know that song "every rose has it's thorn"? who doesn't right? Well, here is the verse that really brings it out to me:


I know I could saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

and now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife

I guess in time all things play out. We see the true motivations behind the actions and we uncover the apparent truth. Truth in inter personal relationships is contingent on perspective. or... Truth depends on your view point. But I digress. It's a amazing to me the undercurrents that permeate our most intimate relationships. We scratch at the surfaces for some deeper context. We claw into the depths of our selves searching for understanding of others. Sometimes that clawing can get ugly. We can uncover things that we wish we didn't know. Usually, they are about ourselves. It may appear in the form and substance of someone else, but it is still a reflection of our own hiprocrisy. Okay, maybe it's just me. I know you have never been guilty of that. Right.... And Ted Kennedy has a great classic car collection for sale... you can see it with a glass bottom boat. Anyways. So we are in these relationships. We are seeking love, contentment, understanding, togetherness, and intimacy. We were created (sorry Darwin) for that desire. It is natural.

So off into the world we go. For men it is akin to Indiana Jones. Lately my dating life has been more of a "Temple of Doom" than a "Last Crusade" but I digress again. Man, I gotta stop with the Ultra. Anyways. Back to the lecture at hand. We seek this meaning in relationships. I'm not talking about the "meaning of life" or anything like that. I'm strictly talking about inter personal relationships wherin we are seeking some deeper intimacy or meaning. And the question is... how much does it suck when you think there is meaning, only to find out there is none? I now know how Geraldo felt when he opened Capone's vault.

Failure

Is not fatal. So the great maybe has turned into a solid no. There are worse things to happen.

"this ain't nuthin"

26.2. New goal. They can shove it.

:)