60 Days

The great malaise of life can grind into our soul at times. Kind of like mixing batter. It doesn't take a lot of bland white polished flour to make the entire mixture seem bland. But it also doesn't take a lot of color to mix things up a bit either.

It is rare that I erase what I type. I figure that if it worth writing the first time, then you need to wrap your brain around it at least once. Hey, you only have to read it once, I'm the one who has to live with where it came from. so, it could be worse.

I had this whole counting crows mood selected for this blog posting, but I am changing that, thanks to our good friend Axl Rose. I guess, I'm in one of those moods tonight where I don't care about convention. So, Use your illusion is the album and here are some lyrics:

I try and feel the sunshine
You bring the rain
You try and hold me down
With your complaints
You cry and moan and complain
You whine an tear
Up to my neck in sorrow
The touch you bring
You just don't step inside to
14 years
So hard to keep my own head...
That's what I say
You know...I've been the beggar...
I've played the thief
I was the dog...they all tried to beat

It's not directed at one person or one singular event. But a combination of things. Here is the story... I promise, I will tie this all in together... give me a minute

Friday night I go to the races. It struck me. I was enjoying just being there in the moment watching cars go fast and turn left. That's it. Sounds simple and it was. To just be still and enjoy a warm summer evening with a mindless activity. Ignorance is bliss. I didn't know about the credit downgrade. I didn't know about that tiny fact. While it may not seem like much to you, it is a major red flag event for me. It has mobilized my last vestiges of reservations about what is to come. I don't know the shape and form of what it will be. I realized that I will never be fully prepared. There isn't enough ammunition or food or water filters I can store up. I have to enjoy the brief moments of happiness that still exists. I can't change the course this country is on, but I can change my response to it.

I'm pissed about it coming. But it has fallen to us. and I say, let them come.